steve (the play)

• Steve, a very friendly potato
• Stacy, an apple disguised as a tomato (and the object of Steve's affections)
• Cara Cauliflower, a gruff security guard

Steve

(to audience) Hi, I'm Steve! (extends hand)

Cara

(to audience, in a businesslike fashion) Welcome to the fridge. I'm Cara Cauliflower, security guard of the vegetable drawer.

Stacy

(to audience, in excited tones) I'm Stacy, a red apple, but since the vegetables won't let us fruits into "their" drawer, I'm disguising myself as a red tomato and sneaking in. Shh! (She walks toward the drawer)

Stacy is walking along in the shadows when she bumps into Steve.

Steve

Hi, I'm Steve! (extends hand)

Stacy

(jumps and screams) Oh-hi, Steve. I'm Stacy (shakes Steve's hand).

Steve

(looking bug-eyed) What kind of vegetable are you? I haven't seen any other vegetables that look like you.

Stacy

A red ap...uh...a red potato. No, oops...sorry, a red tomato. Yeah, that's it. A red tomato.

Steve

Are you married?

Cara

(walking over toward them) What's going on here? (in gruff tones)

Steve

(to Cara) Hi, I'm Steve! (extends hand)

Cara

(Ignores him) Have you seen that fruit around here? One of them has gotten into OUR drawer! It probably is robbing some veggie's bag right this minute!

Stacy

Um...no, I haven't seen any fruits. Now, I really need to be go-

Cara

Just a minute. What's that stick on your top? And your peel is a strange color.

Stacy

It's um...mm...my new spike hairdo. And my peel is...um...it's tanned. I really don't mean to be impolite, but I do need to be goi-

Steve

(to Stacy) Wow, cool hairdo!

Cara

(ignoring Steve again with disgusted expression) And just WHERE are you going? No-one should be out of their bags when there's a FRUIT loose in this drawer unless they want to be made into V-8! Are you crazy?

Stacy

Um, well, there's an emergency, so I really badly need to be-

Steve

(to Cara) Hi, I'm Steve! (extends hand)

Cara

Shut Up!

Cara

(pointing finger at Stacy) Hold it right there! You look fruity...especially that stick.

Stacy

No, really? All my friends say I look just like a fruit. I must just be a...um...really big tomato. I never believed that, but I guess they must be right. Now I really need to go and get some vegetable ju-oops...um...

Cara

Vegetable juice, huh? We'll see about that. You had better come with me, young lady.

Steve

Hi, I'm Steve! (extends hand)

Thanks to Dorothy, who played Stacy, and Laura, who played Cara, for helping with the original improv idea (I played Steve), and Cindy Vining and Omma Productions for editing and putting it on stage.